Healing the Shadow
Facing our shadow is a difficult process because it appears suddenly, out of the blue, throwing us off track forcing us to face our fears, insecurities, past mistakes and poor decisions. Our shadow reminds us where we need to focus for a deeper level of healing. It shows us our repressed emotions, feelings, dysfunctions, history, denials, weaknesses, addictions and patterns. We do not need to fear our shadow; in fact, we need to learn how to embrace it. Our shadow will only show up when we are ready to truly move into wholeness, gain our highest soul’s potential and become the master of our lives. We must move through our darkness before we will truly be able to fully step into the light of our divinity. When we acknowledge the information our shadow provides and accept its teachings, our shadow becomes the bridge between the darkness of our fears to the light of redemption and unification. Our soul knows when it is time to clear our energy and begin to live our life in a different way. When our soul feels we are ready, our shadow will be brought forth and each of us will be called to find the inner strength to face it so we can transform it. This part of ourselves can no longer be denied, it must be acknowledged, transformed and integrated into our being before we will be able to raise our vibrations to our highest potential.
When things in our life take a turn for the worst and we can’t figure out what we are doing to create these circumstances, we can be sure that our soul has decided that it is time for us to meet our shadow. Our shadow is held in place by the unconscious parts of our mind that need healing. These unconscious parts are like sub personalities that were created from our unwillingness to fully feel our negative feelings because we perceived them to be bad. Since we have not been taught how to deal with these negative feelings, in a healthy way, we stuff them in our subconscious mind creating our shadow. This part of our self gets disconnected from our conscious self because we only want to deal with what makes us feel good. Unfortunately, the human experience does not always feel good and our uncomfortable feelings must be dealt with or we will continue to stuff things in our unconscious mind creating a darker, larger shadow moving us further and further away from the light of our God self. Denial of our negative feelings does not make them go away. In order to transform them they must be fully experienced so they can be acknowledged and healed. If we continue to avoid these unpleasant feelings they will continue to influence our behaviors and will be like little magnets that continue to attract people and situations into our life that we would rather not be involved with. When we feel like there is something outside of ourselves creating our life circumstance, and we want to blame others, we need to stop and realize that it is our shadowy sub personalities that are magnetizing these events into our lives. These parts of ourselves have been disowned and they are drawing attention to themselves so they can be welcomed back into our being and healed. This can only occur if we choose to receive the gift our shadow is trying to show us and acknowledge the emotion, feeling and behavior as part of our being. If we deny our shadow consciousness it will continue to persist. Bringing our conscious awareness to it and accepting it as part of our being shines light on it, transmuting it into love. Once all of these disowned aspects of our being are integrated, we will no longer need to draw unpleasant situations into our lives.
Both the ego and the shadow support each other because the main job of the ego is to keep us in separation, fragmented from our God self. In fact your ego will deny that your shadow is a part of your being, in any way. The ego knows if we recognize and heal our shadow, our shadow will be integrated into our God self which means the ego will be out of a job and integrated as well. In order to keep the shadow from being acknowledged, the ego will assist the shadow by helping the shadow to distance itself from its source of discomfort which creates further separation and denial within our being. For example, when we see someone misbehaving or being “bad” we pass judgment (ego) and immediately label it as “not us” (shadow). We blame (ego & shadow) and point fingers at everyone else for their inappropriate behavior projecting (ego & shadow) those parts of ourselves we have denied (ego) onto them making ourselves superior (ego) to all the other people out there (ego) who could never, never be reflections of ourselves. The ego loves to reinforce its sense of separateness by making us feel justified and self-righteous in our blaming. The egos basic premise is that of victim hood and a victim must always have someone to blame. Because our shadow avoids everything unpleasant, it will avoid taking responsibility for the co-creation of the circumstance and stuff it in the subconscious mind simply wanting it to go away leaving us alone. Unfortunately, this perpetuates and intensifies our darkness keeping our rejected parts inside the shadow and away from the light of our God self.
The shadow holds all the darkness from every traumatic event we have ever endured and not cleared from our subconscious mind. In order for us to fully step into our light, resolve our karma and raise our vibrations we must face and clear all of those things we refuse to accept about ourselves. This is why our relationships are often referred to as mirrors. Whatever we see in another person “that provokes an uncomfortable reaction” is usually a good indicator of a characteristic or sub personality within our own being that needs to be accepted and healed as well. We tend to see in other people all of the qualities that we have personally disowned. They are mirroring back to us our own shadows. Anger, hatred, jealousy and bitterness can only hurt us if it is denied. When we suppress our emotions and feelings, because we have been taught they are wrong, our shadow enlarges keeping us from accessing greater amounts of light. Once our feelings are embraced and we learn what they are trying to teach us they will no longer be stored in our shadows demagnetizing the charge they once had on us. For example, if we see someone overreacting and it doesn’t provoke a reaction, emotion or feeling within our being, then we can be sure we have owned this aspect of ourselves because it will no longer have a charge within our being. We will be able to have compassion for this person knowing that a part of their shadow has risen up to the surface to be acknowledged and healed. Neutrality, not denial, is a good sign that you are integrating those aspects of your self that use to enrage you. However, if you continue to attract repetitive situations with people who keep demonstrating a similar type of behavior, that provokes a reaction in you, then you can be sure the Universe is trying to show you a disowned aspect of yourself that needs to be owned and integrated within your being. The Universe is lovingly bringing situations to each one of us helping us to heal and step into wholeness. When we have demagnetized all of our shadow consciousness, we will no longer attract relationships to show us our hidden aspects that we have been in denial about. We will no longer need another person to mirror our shadow back to us and we will naturally move towards those relationships that reflect back our light. Before we can be healed of any condition - body, mind or soul - we must be willing to take ownership of our creations before we can truly let them go releasing them into the light of God.
Each of us are affected by our own level of shadow consciousness and ego distortions. For the most part, this is not intentional, it is usually an unconscious act of self-deception that our shadow and ego thrives on. However, raising our vibration, merging with our God self and entering the Kingdom of God requires us to bring everything we have been avoiding unconsciously into our conscious awareness so it can be transformed. Energy never dies; it must be transformed! If we do not face our shadow, feel it and clear it we will not be able to raise our vibration high enough for our God self to merge with our being. We have to transform our darkness into light and the only way to do that is to bring it into our conscious awareness and look at it with brutal self-honesty. We need to clear out our energy fields and face our lies, shame, blame and anger. We must stop denying the negativity that lives within our being and face it so we can heal ourselves and become whole and authentic. These negativities are the very things we are here on Earth to heal. We are in a constant state of being refined and our ego and shadow work will not end until we have purified ourselves enough to be completely absorbed back into the light of the Creator Of “All That Is”.
- Anything that feels like it isn’t you.
- Feelings and Emotions “others” provoke in you that you just want to go away. Your shadow is all of your rejections.
- All feelings and emotions you don’t want to own.
- “Out of character” emotions or reactions that are showing up in your life. These are the hidden sub personalities, stored in your subconscious, that want to be healed!
- Aspects of your self you don’t want others to see so you wear a mask.
- Our deepest, darkest and most terrible secrets.
- Our resistances. What we resist, persists.
Ego Reactions that Support the Shadow
- Blames others for their current situation. Refuses to accept responsibility for their own life / circumstances / creations / behaviors. We blame someone else when they exhibit a part of our shadow that is trying to be healed.
- Projects their disowned sub personalities onto others because they don’t want to acknowledge their hidden issues. Finger pointing! Our outer reality is a reflection of our inner reality. Whatever we see in another person, that provokes a reaction, is a reflection of something within our own being that needs to be owned.
“ You are angry ”
“ You are obnoxious ”
“ You are over reactive ”
“ You are hateful ”
“ You are emotional ”
“ You have a big ego ”
- The ego creates the distance (separation) the shadow wants from its uncomfortable feelings. This creates separation / fragmentation within our being keeping us from reuniting with all of our parts, which keeps us from being whole.
- Denial! Denies that the shadow is a part of you:
“ I don’t have a shadow ”
“ I don’t have negative feelings ”
“ I don’t have any darkness”
“ I don’t wear a mask.”
“ I don’t have issues”
“ I don’t need healing”
Signs that You are Integrating Your Shadow and Ego
- You notice behaviors in others but have no need to react or respond.
- Other people’s behaviors no longer create a feeling or an emotion in you. They do not trigger an internal alarm or create negative head chatter. You are becoming neutral.
- You no longer blame the other person or berate yourself when a shadow aspect shows up. You acknowledge and accept the disowned parts of your being, shining the light of your consciousness on them so they can be transmuted and healed. You are pulling yourself out of blame and denial.
- You are able to fully embrace and fully love all parts of yourself, even the parts that aren’t so great. This is self-love!!!
- You embrace your humanity with determination and acceptance knowing that when your shadow consciousness arises this is a positive sign that shows healing is occurring in your life. You are allowing all of your disowned shadowy sub personalities to be demagnetized through your acceptance and healing of them.
- Your life has become more peaceful and your circumstances, relationships and interactions are becoming more positive.
Questions to Ask Yourself
- What judgments do you have about other people? These judgments show us our hidden aspects that need to be healed. Once we own them, other people’s behaviors will not bother us.
- What scenarios in your life are repetitive? Do you keep attracting the same kind of negative people in your life? What are they trying to show you?
- Be really honest with yourself and make a list of all the things about yourself you try to hide from others. Recognize that it takes twice as much energy to hide these aspects from yourself and others than it does to own them.
- Where are you being inauthentic in your interactions? In what situations do you put on a “mask”? What are you hiding?
If we do not confront the darkness within us we will meet it as fate.
~ Carl Jung
~ Lao Tsu
~ Carl Jung
~ Debbie Ford